First off, YAY! OMG! Thank you for writing more! *gushes*. Now onto the feedback.
"Don't be coy," Josef said, sashaying to his left, circling her like an exotic cat.
I love that. I love that this is such a visual piece, as it should be. You get so much of their feelings without actually having to read it all blatantly stated. It's all about the way they move around each other or their tones as they talk. I love that.
She heard a growl as her shocks met flesh, and she looked up, seeing Josef pinning her back and struggling to fight off the effects of her power.
Fear enveloped her and adrenaline kicked in. 'He could really kill me,' Elle thought with shock.
I don't know how you made Elle realize that Josef could kill her, if he wanted, completely hot, but you did. It's all about power and the fact that both of them are on equal playing grounds, and a little bat-shit crazy to top it off, is just awesome. The friction between them is as equally dangerous as it is compelling. They are going to have some killer sex.
Elle grinned at his joke with wanton look on her face. Josef froze; it was a look that usually led to beautiful things - but mostly, in her case, death.
I'm kind of confused by this sentence. Did you mean that when women smiled at him like that Josef ended up killing them? Or that when Elle smiled like that she ended up killing people?
Anyways, this world is quickly becoming my new drug. If you quit writing it, I'm going to need a 12-step program.
"You can't even... control yourself?" Elle pouted.
Josef looked at her hungrily, and then he shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "With you, no..." He stole another glance at her and wiped his mouth. "Hell no."
GAH!!! I love that she is the one to make him lose control and he's afraid to even test it but at the same time he can't stop himself even though he knows it is risky. I love that sooooo much. And this:
She walked to her car, opening the door as Josef leaned over it. She turned to him with a puzzling expression and said, "This is probably not going to be a safe acquaintance, is it?"
I can't wait to see this, what happens to them. Like, you really have no idea. I love that they are just going to go ahead and try being together anyway.
And that last line, well that was pure perfection! MORRRRRRRRE!!!!
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"Don't be coy," Josef said, sashaying to his left, circling her like an exotic cat.
I love that. I love that this is such a visual piece, as it should be. You get so much of their feelings without actually having to read it all blatantly stated. It's all about the way they move around each other or their tones as they talk. I love that.
She heard a growl as her shocks met flesh, and she looked up, seeing Josef pinning her back and struggling to fight off the effects of her power.
Fear enveloped her and adrenaline kicked in. 'He could really kill me,' Elle thought with shock.
I don't know how you made Elle realize that Josef could kill her, if he wanted, completely hot, but you did. It's all about power and the fact that both of them are on equal playing grounds, and a little bat-shit crazy to top it off, is just awesome. The friction between them is as equally dangerous as it is compelling. They are going to have some killer sex.
Elle grinned at his joke with wanton look on her face. Josef froze; it was a look that usually led to beautiful things - but mostly, in her case, death.
I'm kind of confused by this sentence. Did you mean that when women smiled at him like that Josef ended up killing them? Or that when Elle smiled like that she ended up killing people?
Anyways, this world is quickly becoming my new drug. If you quit writing it, I'm going to need a 12-step program.
"You can't even... control yourself?" Elle pouted.
Josef looked at her hungrily, and then he shook his head with an exasperated sigh. "With you, no..." He stole another glance at her and wiped his mouth. "Hell no."
GAH!!! I love that she is the one to make him lose control and he's afraid to even test it but at the same time he can't stop himself even though he knows it is risky. I love that sooooo much. And this:
She walked to her car, opening the door as Josef leaned over it. She turned to him with a puzzling expression and said, "This is probably not going to be a safe acquaintance, is it?"
I can't wait to see this, what happens to them. Like, you really have no idea. I love that they are just going to go ahead and try being together anyway.
And that last line, well that was pure perfection! MORRRRRRRRE!!!!